Are you a STRESSED OUT mom?.. RUN!

YOU are NOT alone!

Statically woman have more stress then men, and stress increases with age, and children.. So, You do the math... Being a mom is downright stressful!
Moms experience more stress than the average person, as they wear so many 'hats'. 
As a mom, I am PAINFULLY aware that I have THE BEST, MOST rewarding job in the world, but at the same time it is also very stressful and demanding. 
The MOST common stresses for mom's are:

Demands on your time- There is so much to do, and just not enough time to get it all done....

Relationship demands- The relationship that you build with your child is important, but so is your relationship with that child’s father and partner.

Financial demands- The demands of raising a child today can be daunting. Especially if you take it upon yourself to provide your child all those things that you never got to do. 

No time alone- With all of the above stressors, you very rarely get a moment to yourself. You are lucky if you get to go the bathroom by yourself.

Self doubt- Many women doubt their ability to succeed at this thing called mothering.

Feeling like there is no end in sight- One of the most overwhelming issues of the stress in parenthood is that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. (Especially when your kids are 6 months, 3, and 5 and they are climbing all over you, and crying, and making messes, and won’t go to sleep, and on and on and on…)

So we all have stress, and know where it comes from... But how do we rid our lives of it? 
RUN! Exercise is a fundamental part of leading a healthy and fit life. The body just needs it. Running can help you shed as many as 100 calories per mile, aids in lowering your blood pressure by making sure the arteries stay nice and elastic and relieves stress!

Stress in both its forms, acute and long-term, have some pretty nasty effects on your body.Acute stress comes on fast and doesn't last very long. Most of your body systems are negatively affected by acute stress. Your brain, lungs, heart, immune system and digestive system all ramp up to deal with whatever trigger got you so worked up, whether it's a real danger or just perceived.

Long-term, or chronic, stress is even worse. Over time, your heart will have to work overtime, and your immune system will weaken and send your fat straight to your waistline. Arthritis, heart disease, and aging all take a hit when you live with chronic stress.

If you lead a hectic and stressful life, take heart -- running can be your friend. Psychologically, running gives you a set amount of time to be alone with your thoughts. It gives you the grown-up time to think about anything other than the theme song to the kids cartoon, or the barbies spilled all over the playroom floor. Aside from simply being happier because you're in better shape and feeling good, endorphins play a big role in these results.Running also slows down the hands of time a little, as it relates to your aging process -- regular runners are less likely to have bone and muscle loss.The active runner will remain strong and flexible.

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I CAN do it all ... (part 2 - The Struggle to Juggle)

When it comes to finding time to successfully manage a couple jobs, a home, a family, a blog and all the other responsibilities that are often screaming for our attention, it can sometimes be a little overwhelming. 

We are all seeking to be that perfect mom... striving to find balance in the midst of the craziness of life. 

As a self-titled perfectionist, (type-A - control freak), I have tried so many different ways to be Super Mom and do it all. 

I have had my share of trials and tribulations as I attempted to find the perfect balance - to be perfect. And then it dawned on me, that I don't need to be perfect, just the perfect me!

I am still as structured and type-A with my schedule and approach to time management, but now I have found freedom from much of the stress that comes with striving for perfection.  There is where I found the balance perfect for my family. 

The key to finding harmony as a working mom (whether it is part time, full time or from home) is to prioritize and learn how to juggle. For me I find time for deep prayer and conversation with the Lord everyday, be sure my husband and children feel loved, teach the children, teach the children, take care of the home, complete work (for my own sanity, financial security and experience), maintain a healthy work-out routine and take care of the exterior of the home and general maintenance.  

Finding a rhythm for juggling my roles is still a work in progress, as all this does take a lot of practice , but it will be well worth it in the end. 

I've always believed moms can do it all. But sometimes you have to change things in order to do everything you want to do. 

Now, in the sixth year since I became a mom, I'm juggling three part - time jobs, instead of working one full time job, so that I am able to be home with the children and still develop my skills professionally.

When my first son was born I was working full time as a first grade teacher in a local school. It was the right job for me at certainly the wrong time. The hours were always longer than most non-teachers think, occupying my nights, weekends and summers, and the pay was not adequate enough for me to pay the nanny, assist in the household financial obligations and pay down my ridiculous student loans. My nanny went from awesome to unpredictable, the school went into a period of transition and my hours went from short to overwhelming. I completed the required time for me to establish myself as a highly-qualified teacher and stepped away from the traditional classroom. 

After a lot of discussion with my husband, our lives changed. 

I needed to make an income, but it needed to be in my son's company, raising him, instead of raising other people's children. I was lucky enough to begin working for a former co-worker, establishing a company who's sole purpose was to better the mathematics instruction of all students throughout different districts in the state. While I loved it, it was very slow getting off the ground, so I also needed to become a Pampered Chef Consultant. I loved the cooking, but the reliance on others was far too difficult as we faced financial hardships, so I became an 'independent school' and in a sense nanny-ed my way to financial stability. As time went on a few things changed and I no longer needed to care for other people's children as our family grew to include TWO more children, I became part of another venture -- a health and fitness coach for children! 

While I work as hard as I always had, I am now able to find the balance I need to work the way I want to work, the hours I want to work -- and be a mom the way I want to be a mom. It works so well I do not want it to end. 

Believe it or not I still have about the same on my plate being home with my children as I did working full time! Instead of leaving the home for 6-8 hours a day, I leave for 3 and have at least 4-5 hours of work to complete in the evenings for one job or the other. Add in the volunteering at the Church, local schools, little league, homeschooling, taxing to extra-curricular activities and co-organizing a home school group, co-op,  co-organizing a mom/baby group, staying fit and healthy (including running races) and household duties, I am swamped.

I have changed a lot in my life over the past few years. I am now super schedule orientated (more than ever), but I also have altered my expectations so that I do not expect to be the best mom, volunteer, employee, boss, wife and teacher, but instead just to be the best I can be.

I have found some things that help me achieve what I expect of myself a lot easier. 

• Put down the cell phone 8 am until 8 pm. This one’s hard, but important. It’s easy to justify checking email on my smartphone while my kids are playing, but then I miss an opportunity to get down the floor and play too. 
• Eat dinner together – as a family. Every-night. We pray together and engage in conversation. 
• Create traditions. A couple of ours are simple, pizza & movie/game night Fridays (we take turns choosing the restaurant and movie). And Field Trip Saturday, someplace different once a month. 
• Make time for your significant other. Your kids will be with your for 18 years, but your husband will be with you for the rest of your life. We try to plan a date night once a month, sometimes at home and sometimes out.
• Eliminate the unnecessary. Say no without guilt. You can only do so much and only you know your limits. 
• Make time for yourself. This one I struggle with. But, it is important for my children to see me happy and healthy and NOT burnt out...
• Create boundaries. With 24/7 access to us all the time, it can be hard to shut off one part of our lives for another. Set a schedule and try to stick to that as best as you can. I only make Pampered Chef calls on Thursdays and Sundays, I only schedules shows on select Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and I only write curriculum Monday through Thursdays. I do respond to emails daily, just before 8 am or after 8 pm. :)
• Ask for help. Find ways to slow down, re-focus and breathe. You can do this.

I can do it all... just not all at the same time.

I am independent and driven and I can do anything I put my mind to. That was a hard realization for me to come to. 
I find a way to get the most done as often as possible. I do group  things (chores and household duties together with workouts and kids activities and lessons) to get the most out of the day and con my kids into sorting socks YAY!

I do smile on my way to work knowing ill have a quiet drive to think uninterrupted but by the time I'm there, my children have be missed dearly. No matter where I am I always hear their little voices. 

What do I do all day? I will tell you......

I get up early — WITH my children, NOT before my children — and spend time cleaning and praying and humming to myself.every morning give the children a handful of dry cereal and an activity so I can prepare breakfast and do squats in the kitchen. I feed the baby and do the dishes while they eat, encouraging them to move along but hope they'll take long enough for me to finish. I rotate from room to room while they complete their lessons to get some steps in while playing peek-a-boo and folding the laundry (that WILL sit in each of our rooms for a while before its put away). 

The children and I talk about the day, the weather and I then provide the children with a question to respond to in their journal as I feed the baby. I give each child a few independent activities to complete, read them a story and head off to work. When I return, I make lunch for the big kids and again feed the baby while I check the children's work. As they finish up eating we all talk as I do the dishes and put the baby down for a nap. The big kids and I then complete a science experiment, art project or the like. Once completed, the middle child takes a nap and my son and I complete a more difficult lesson, followed by a workout and some independent reading time for him (while I was some laundry, clean up and squeeze in a run and a shower). When all the children awake, I prepare a snack and feed the baby, followed by a fun activity or a trip someplace (various sports practice or what-not). Once our "free" time is over, one of the children assist in dinner preparation (one on one, while the other two can watch, or play). The dinner is eaten as a family, as is desert, and by the time we finish its bath time, story time and bedtime! Once the children are in bed, its more laundry, more cleaning, (possibly a quick run) and then I can finally sit down and... you got it, work. I usually stop working when the baby wake to eat, then put him back to sleep and close up shop - just -to-do-it again- tomorrow....

I am not trying to toot my own horn, I'm just saying anything is possible.

It will always be a constant battle of work and life. And balance.  And I always come last. 

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I CAN do it all.... (part 1)

Come on over and sit down. 

Have a cocktail and quit your whining! 

I’m about to reveal to you the formula for how to be a successful working woman, a nurturing mother, a healthy, fit and fulfilled woman and an adoring and adored wife all at the same time, and I’m not charging you a dime (unless you want me too).

It is so easy you will laugh and laugh and then your laughter will mysteriously turn to tears once you learn my secrets. Do you believe me? ...... {falls asleep} …What? Where am I? Oh excuse me, I really don’t know why I am so tired. I easily had over 4 hours of sleep last night. Must be the hour of Beach-Body I squeezed in before lunch.

Anyway, let's focus, because you too can have it all, all at once.

Ignore those pesky naysayers and mediocre little people who have no understanding of how truly easy it is.

So here goes...

In the past year, I’ve been asked many times how I manage to seemingly “do it all”, so it's time I tell you.... I don't.

Every time I get the question, I wish I could invite the woman to my home. You may think I do it all, shop at five stores and save $200 on my grocery bill every week, cook six-course gourmet meals from scratch every single night, spend 10 hours of quality time with each of my children who are also involved in all sorts of extra-curricular activities, volunteer in our community at least five hours every day, hand-sew our clothes, all the while keeping my hair-did and nails freshly manicured...

Frankly, I don’t do it all nor do I want to.

I’m sure I do more than some and less than others. I know that I will be, in some way or another, busy forever. With that said, there are times for productivity and times for rest. I will admit I do seem to excel in the "time for productivity" part, and lack in the "time for rest". 
Those of us who are visibly busy (I think, at times) give a false impression of togetherness that’s rather unfortunate and unattainable. 
You don’t see my hurricane of a bedroom, still unfinished from the addition we began 2 years ago. You don’t see the scary, scary things under my couch. You don’t see the crud under my keyboard or the light-bulb that’s been out for three weeks in the basement laundry room. You don’t see when my toenail polish is chipping and when you do see that I’m way overdue for a hair cut you haven't mentioned it. For this I thank you, for I know that WE know, we are ALL busy people, we prioritize. 

I don’t watch the television or read the articles in my favorite magazine, or add new books to my Nook as often as I should. I  don't venture underneath the basement stairs or wash out the garbage can before replacing the bag. I don't floss every day. I don't weed the garden more than once  a season and I don't rotate our clothes each season.  I don't get to go to the spa, manicurist or hair salon even when my husband insists or take an extra long shower in quiet. Heck, sometimes I don't even empty the expired stuff from the fridge, (I DO tell everyone NOT to eat it though).

I don’t have a gym membership or skip the sugary treat when I really want it. I do however climb a million steps and chase around at least three small children every day AND I also own a lot of Spanx.

I don't get my yearly physical and I don’t wash windows. I don’t feed the homeless, foster rescue animals, host benefits,  chair volunteer committees. Although I will fund-raise the crap out of anything I can.

I don’t RSVP yes as often as I RSVP maybe, but I never say yes and leave you hanging.

I do go to bed most nights listing off the things I didn't get done and should have. I do wake up every morning wanting to do better be better feel better than the day before.  I do want to make my parents proud, my children smart happy & healthy (& tired, mostly tired) and my husband want me by the end of every day. But seriously, I am just one person. I only have 24 hours in my day — just like you. And I don’t have limitless energy or creativity. I often get tired, cranky and irritated. I sometimes go to bed feeling guilty that I’m not spending enough time with my children or feeding them healthfully enough. There are days I want to quit and give up.

I used to wish I could be one of those moms who whipped up hand-smocked petticoats for my daughter's dolls on the fly and decorated three-tiered wedding cakes while in the middle of canning forty-two batches of pickles and building a soap-box car with my son. I wanted to learn to knit and crochet and tat and make candy and candles. I pictured myself restoring antique furniture, planting a massive garden and sewing all our bedding.

But the reality is that I’m just not skilled in those areas. Oh sure, I still try on occasion to improve my knitting or sewing skills, but I have learned to accept that I’ll likely never be really super awesome at most of those things... I manage.

Instead of beating myself up over what I can’t do, I have been trying to focus on those areas which I am gifted in. Once you’ve let go of perfectionism and determined your strengths, then it’s much easier to prioritize and streamline your life. 

There are certain moms who just make everything look easy. They’re the ones who always seem so pulled together, calm and organized, even as they’re running in a million different directions and taking on a multitude of responsibilities. We look at those women and often ask ourselves, “How does she do it?” Well, here’s a little secret: If you’re a mom who is reading this sentence, then you can bet that somewhere, at some time, someone has THAT about you. The problem with most of us moms is that we’re often quick to recognize the talents of others, while magnifying our own faults and limitations. 
It doesn't matter if you have one child or thirty-five (God help you), they WILL keep you busy. The reality is that every mom leads a hectic and busy life, but each has her own way of keeping it all under control. 

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!

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So You Think You Can Run?

While running today I was thinking (shocking I know) about the things that make a person a runner. 

I am super excited to join the realm of the runners.

In fact, JUST last week, I lost my first toenail! 

That's not the only thing that helps me stand out as a runner, all my shorts and skirts have pockets, I have running sneakers, racing sneakers, treadmill sneakers and regular sneakers and I think 50 degrees and cloudy is perfect weather - even when the rain spits!  

I realized that every time I see an exit sign now, like the 3 miles until blah-blah-blah-blah, I think to myself, I can run that! --- And sometimes I even calculate my time...

The phrase "It's all downhill from here", clearly bring a smile to my face.  

I used to be a person who would do anything to avoid running, (I worked out, but cardio-free was for me)... and now, I know the mileage from my door in every direction, my day is "off" until I run, and I do anything to squeeze in a run.  

First and foremost, I know I am a runner because of how it makes me feel... when I am sad, I run, when I am happy, I run and when I am angry, I run faster

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It's NOT as healthy as you think!

Dr. Oz, my MOST favorite "famous" doctor revealed a few secret  'unhealthy' foods that most people think are healthy.

I was HEART-BROKEN to see NUT BUTTERS on the list.
Peanuts, walnuts and cashews are amazing, and so are their healthy fats. They’ve been shown to help boost heart health and keep weight down, but A LOT of companies are now taking out some of the fat out and replacing it with sugar and saturated or trans fat and often preservatives. When it comes to nut butters, stick with options that have one or two ingredients. Once you go beyond that, your health food has just become unhealthy.

Granola made the list too!
For most common brands, even the smallest amount of granola will give you a wallop of trans fats and sugar and the portions are so small that we tend not to be satisfied with the initial bowl and continue to fill the bowl until the milk is gone.

Fat-Free Sweets are NOT good for you!
Fat-free cookies and cakes are deceiving. People think that “fat-free” means “calorie-free,” so they tend to eat more than usual.Usually, the sugar replaces the fat in these products so you’re still getting a high number of calories and typically these treats are also LOADED with preservatives.

Another favorite of mine was deemed unworthy of consumption... I thought I was going to cry. Frozen yogurt, my go-to treat is deceptively bad.
In the world of saturated fat, it is – but in terms of calories and simple sugars, its bad. Once we load up the frozen yogurt with sugar- and fat-laden toppings, it’s pretty much equal to its ice-cream counterparts! Buyer beware! Grab the low sugar option, but NOT the fat-free and add fresh fruit! 

It's Muffin Time Sir! Or perhaps not....
Trying to be “good,” so you have a bran muffin over a doughnut every morning? Commercially sold bran muffins contain about 800 calories of pure sugar and fat, well above the calorie count of many traditional cake doughnut. Read the nutritional information OR keep it home-made!

My go to snack (the cereal/fiber/snack bar) is a NO go!
Many energy, fiber and protein bars are about two steps away from a candy bar! We’re often lured in by promises of high fiber or protein, but other than these added-in nutrients, there’s not much else. 

I was NOT surprised when I saw Diet Entrees on the list. I am not and have never been a fan of prepackaged, processed anything. It doesn't look good or taste good, how could it be good?
These are typically loaded with sodium. And while they may be be low in calories, they’re also low in nutrients (for example, refined grains may be used instead of whole grains). These frozen meals are a great example of quick convenient food that provides no bang for your nutritional buck.

Trail Mix made the list as well. While I AM a big fan, I tend to make these things myself now. It is cheap and fairly easy to make at home, plus more personalized... no yucky things to search through for the good stuff.  Although healthy trail mix is possible, most of the versions we are buying at the store are loaded with candy-coated pieces, yogurt-covered raisins, sesame sticks and deep-fried banana chips. If you put your hand in the bag twice, you're looking at almost 600 calories chock-full of simple sugars, trans fat and refined carbohydrates!

Pre-made smoothies. Are you seeing a trend here? If you want good and healthy, make it at home.

Smoothies can have as much as 650 to 1000 calories in them due to the extreme portions of fruit, vegetables, and, often times, added simple sugars and syrups. We feel more comfortable getting larger sizes of smoothies because they contain plant-based nutrients our bodies need, but as with anything, you can overdo it. 

Energy drinks and sports drinks are not what they SHOULD be, they don't provide energy needed for sports!
There are hundreds of “health” drink options on the market today. You can find drinks filled with vitamins, probiotics and even fiber. If they’ve got more than 1 to 2 ingredients, my advice is to skip it. That’s because any drink with various ingredients is likely to either have added calories in the form of simple sugars, and if it’s sweet but has no calories, it’s got artificial sweeteners, which aren't great for your waistline, either. Recent studies are linking artificial sweeteners with vascular events and even increases in metabolic syndrome. When it comes to drinks, think simple – water, tea – and cheap!







 http://www.doctoroz.com/

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Run or Dye

 We took a little ride out to Hartford, CT today, to partake in the color run, Run or Dye. I had signed up months ago with a team of eight local moms (& a couple dads too), but by the time the race came around HALF the team was struck by food poisoning! As we pulled off the exit the traffic was already backed up for several miles an hour before the race's start time and I began to get nervous. Finding a parking spot was not as hard as I thought, but the lines were LONG! I had pre-registered, but my partner-in-crime had not, and due to the super long lines we all waited together for fear of losing each other.

 After we got our bibs on, we went for the classic before shot. Sparkly clean and white, and we were probably the only ones. The majority of folks were dumping dye packs over their heads or rolling around in it, even before the race began!
The race was seemingly unlimited as far as the number of "runners" (a term I will use VERY loosely today), we waited in the corral for at least 40 minutes before beginning our turn to run, and actually passed 3 (maybe more) waves of "runners" before hitting the FIRST dye station. The first color was yellow, I am certain of this as I was pelted in the face. We passed another wave of "runners" as we approached the ONLY water station in the 96* July heat. As we continued onward, I decided I would sprint the Dye stations, in an effort to avoid being pelted again.

 All in all, it was an experience I will never forget. And I still left with a smile on my face, after-all it was a beautiful day.

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Breastfeeding & Milk Sharing

Alicia Silverstone has started a breastmilk donation/sharing program. According to this recently Life & Style Weekly that I happened to stumble across on Facebook, since "Life &Style Weekly" is NOT my cup-of-tea, as I am more a "Family Fun" girl...
I think "Life & Style" is REALLY far off base here. It is publicly known that Breast IS best, and milk banks DO exist and have been used for MANY years, usually for premature or sick babies, but never-the-less human milk for human babies is vauable and neccessary... heck it IS what nature intended.......
Wendy Williams actually equated the practice with slavery! ARE YOU serious!!!! Not cool. 
You can email the magazine at contactus@Lifeandstylemag.com OR send them at tweet @Life_and_style to let them know this is unacceptable. 
 Thanks to Lactivist in Louboutins AND all of facebook for bringing this to my attention!

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Finish on the 50

I ran a terrific road race in Foxborough, Massachusetts on July 3, 2013, ending at the 50-yard line inside Gillette Stadium, home of the New England Patriots. 

It was rough... all uphill. Very few water stations, but I made it. 

We hope to run it again this year, and part-take a bit more of the Independence Day celebrations with kids’ races, free family activities, free Fitness Expo and free fireworks. This post race celebration is supposed to have good food and live music, so I cannot wait to go!

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