Five Year gap

Over the past five years, I have been home with my little family, making memories and filling time with every part-time venture I could get my hands on, while still trying to devote all of me to child-rearing.

Now, with two of the three school age and the third manageable with my husbands schedule and attention, I can return some focus to furthering my career.

With the enrollment forms filled out for each of our school-goers, the sheer fear is setting in. I've been hard at home, balancing budgets, managing multiple tasks and deadlines, mediating disputes, homeschooling and a whole bunch of other (actually paid) part-time gigs.

I feel like I have a ton of valuable skills, and a willingness to learn 'the ways of the world' in any school environment... So what gives?  Do the years I spent with my children invalidate the years of education and previous time I spent in a classroom? Do the part-time jobs I have had over the past five years not count?

I am looking at my resume, gleaming with experience and lacking the-so-called gap, many stay-at-home-moms returning to the workforce have, and yet it isn't enough. I have been home for five years - five years tutoring, - five years curriculum writing - five years homeschooling and yet, that's what these potential school districts see, a FIVE YEAR GAP. Suddenly, my bachelors and masters degrees are irrelevant, my current positions, (gym teacher, online educator & curriculum design assistant) don't even matter. 

So what's a return-to-work mom to do? Call in favors, and settle for any 'in' that turns up, just to spruce up the resume.

Read more »

Sending Them Back

I've already made up my mind.

My son would benefit from returning to the traditional classroom.While the past two years of homeschooling have caused his educational mind to flourish - gaining infinite amounts of knowledge into his seven year old brain, other aspects of him have suffered. He has fewer friends, less self control and a weakened mother-son relationship. It is common for the teacher/mother lines to be confused when homeschooling, but I am not willing to let that suffer the pangs of any more time.

I wouldn't classify our homeschooling as a short-term venture, as although he was only home-schooled full-time for two years, he has been homeschooled for five, and I assume, our lessons will not cease when he enters the doors of his new classroom. I have created an adventurous child, inquisitive in nature and always seeking more information. I am not certain one building can contain him.

No matter what the circumstances, sending a child back to a school after homeschooling can produce pangs of guilt. I may have made up my mind, but I question myself daily (as I did when I withdrew him from school).

As a homeschooling Mom wanting to pursue a my career full time, I feel incredibly selfish.

Parenthood is filled with regrets, often constant and daily. For me, I must  remind myself, the vast majority of decisions i make are for the best interest of each of my children based on the circumstances at hand. Every child has different needs, every schooling option has different strengths and weaknesses, and there is no single, right solution for everyone.

So why did I throw in the home-school towel so soon?

1) Our local schools are pretty good. I home-schooled Jonathan for the first and second grade because he was not being challenged during his kindergarten elementary school routine, but after that the advanced placement program was re-introduced into the local schools and I hope it will would energize him.
If his new school had been overcrowded or dangerous or not had advanced placement, I would not have let him go. But the student-teacher ratio was sixteen to one, and I knew many of the teachers personally. We entered upon homeschooling with the goal of having a few good years that might give him an academic and emotional boost before returning. We were not sure when the return would be, but were certain it would be before middle school.

2) I need time for my career. I found homeschooling to be an absorbing job that took most of my energy, (when that is coupled with the several part-time jobs I had taken on to help make ends meet, I'm exhausted) and I wanted to do more teaching and have more time for my writing.

3) Homeschooling brought out the worst in me, as well as the best. I'm honest about this-- I've read many homeschooling books that only talk about the benefits, but I admit openly that some of our homeschooling days were sometimes filled with stormy battles. Although the good times far outweighed the bad, I still feel embarrassed when I recall the tantrums thrown during homeschooling. Battles are a regular part of family life, but in homeschooling, the daily contact between parent and child, combined with the pressures of academic tasks, can be stressful.

4) Jonathan is instinctively an extroverted, lone wolf, which can be a strength, but he needs to work on social skills more than academic skills. Despite our group activities with other home-schoolers during the day, and all of Jonathan 's after-school activities, (home-schoolers get lots of socialization!) I knew that too much time at home with Mom would increase Jonathan's inwardness. In school, he could benefit from performing in the plays, playing on the field, and constantly observing lots of human beings from a variety of backgrounds.

5) I'm not prepared to teach Latin, advanced algebra, and the other specialized subjects that emerge in middle school, and I didn't want to hire tutors. I have already taught Jonathan to read and write comfortably and the conversations and in-depth explorations that homeschooling could allow.

Read more »