When it comes to finding time to successfully manage a couple jobs, a home, a family, a blog and all the other responsibilities that are often screaming for our attention, it can sometimes be a little overwhelming.
We are all seeking to be that perfect mom... striving to find balance in the midst of the craziness of life.
As a self-titled perfectionist, (type-A - control freak), I have tried so many different ways to be Super Mom and do it all.
I have had my share of trials and tribulations as I attempted to find the perfect balance - to be perfect. And then it dawned on me, that I don't need to be perfect, just the perfect me!
I am still as structured and type-A with my schedule and approach to time management, but now I have found freedom from much of the stress that comes with striving for perfection. There is where I found the balance perfect for my family.
The key to finding harmony as a working mom (whether it is part time, full time or from home) is to prioritize and learn how to juggle. For me I find time for deep prayer and conversation with the Lord everyday, be sure my husband and children feel loved, teach the children, teach the children, take care of the home, complete work (for my own sanity, financial security and experience), maintain a healthy work-out routine and take care of the exterior of the home and general maintenance.
Finding a rhythm for juggling my roles is still a work in progress, as all this does take a lot of practice , but it will be well worth it in the end.
I've always believed moms can do it all. But sometimes you have to change things in order to do everything you want to do.
Now, in the sixth year since I became a mom, I'm juggling three part - time jobs, instead of working one full time job, so that I am able to be home with the children and still develop my skills professionally.
When my first son was born I was working full time as a first grade teacher in a local school. It was the right job for me at certainly the wrong time. The hours were always longer than most non-teachers think, occupying my nights, weekends and summers, and the pay was not adequate enough for me to pay the nanny, assist in the household financial obligations and pay down my ridiculous student loans. My nanny went from awesome to unpredictable, the school went into a period of transition and my hours went from short to overwhelming. I completed the required time for me to establish myself as a highly-qualified teacher and stepped away from the traditional classroom.
After a lot of discussion with my husband, our lives changed.
I needed to make an income, but it needed to be in my son's company, raising him, instead of raising other people's children. I was lucky enough to begin working for a former co-worker, establishing a company who's sole purpose was to better the mathematics instruction of all students throughout different districts in the state. While I loved it, it was very slow getting off the ground, so I also needed to become a Pampered Chef Consultant. I loved the cooking, but the reliance on others was far too difficult as we faced financial hardships, so I became an 'independent school' and in a sense nanny-ed my way to financial stability. As time went on a few things changed and I no longer needed to care for other people's children as our family grew to include TWO more children, I became part of another venture -- a health and fitness coach for children!
While I work as hard as I always had, I am now able to find the balance I need to work the way I want to work, the hours I want to work -- and be a mom the way I want to be a mom. It works so well I do not want it to end.
Believe it or not I still have about the same on my plate being home with my children as I did working full time! Instead of leaving the home for 6-8 hours a day, I leave for 3 and have at least 4-5 hours of work to complete in the evenings for one job or the other. Add in the volunteering at the Church, local schools, little league, homeschooling, taxing to extra-curricular activities and co-organizing a home school group, co-op, co-organizing a mom/baby group, staying fit and healthy (including running races) and household duties, I am swamped.
I have changed a lot in my life over the past few years. I am now super schedule orientated (more than ever), but I also have altered my expectations so that I do not expect to be the best mom, volunteer, employee, boss, wife and teacher, but instead just to be the best I can be.
I have found some things that help me achieve what I expect of myself a lot easier.
- Put down the cell phone 8 am until 8 pm. This one’s hard, but important. It’s easy to justify checking email on my smartphone while my kids are playing, but then I miss an opportunity to get down the floor and play too.
- Eat dinner together – as a family. Every-night. We pray together and engage in conversation.
- Create traditions. A couple of ours are simple, pizza & movie/game night Fridays (we take turns choosing the restaurant and movie). And Field Trip Saturday, someplace different once a month.
- Make time for your significant other. Your kids will be with your for 18 years, but your husband will be with you for the rest of your life. We try to plan a date night once a month, sometimes at home and sometimes out.
- Eliminate the unnecessary. Say no without guilt. You can only do so much and only you know your limits.
- Make time for yourself. This one I struggle with. But, it is important for my children to see me happy and healthy and NOT burnt out...
- Create boundaries. With 24/7 access to us all the time, it can be hard to shut off one part of our lives for another. Set a schedule and try to stick to that as best as you can. I only make Pampered Chef calls on Thursdays and Sundays, I only schedules shows on select Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and I only write curriculum Monday through Thursdays. I do respond to emails daily, just before 8 am or after 8 pm. :)
- Ask for help. Find ways to slow down, re-focus and breathe. You can do this.
I can do it all... just not all at the same time.
I am independent and driven and I can do anything I put my mind to. That was a hard realization for me to come to.
I find a way to get the most done as often as possible. I do group things (chores and household duties together with workouts and kids activities and lessons) to get the most out of the day and con my kids into sorting socks YAY!
I do smile on my way to work knowing ill have a quiet drive to think uninterrupted but by the time I'm there, my children have be missed dearly. No matter where I am I always hear their little voices.
What do I do all day? I will tell you......
I get up early — WITH my children, NOT before my children — and spend time cleaning and praying and humming to myself.every morning give the children a handful of dry cereal and an activity so I can prepare breakfast and do squats in the kitchen. I feed the baby and do the dishes while they eat, encouraging them to move along but hope they'll take long enough for me to finish. I rotate from room to room while they complete their lessons to get some steps in while playing peek-a-boo and folding the laundry (that WILL sit in each of our rooms for a while before its put away).
The children and I talk about the day, the weather and I then provide the children with a question to respond to in their journal as I feed the baby. I give each child a few independent activities to complete, read them a story and head off to work. When I return, I make lunch for the big kids and again feed the baby while I check the children's work. As they finish up eating we all talk as I do the dishes and put the baby down for a nap. The big kids and I then complete a science experiment, art project or the like. Once completed, the middle child takes a nap and my son and I complete a more difficult lesson, followed by a workout and some independent reading time for him (while I was some laundry, clean up and squeeze in a run and a shower). When all the children awake, I prepare a snack and feed the baby, followed by a fun activity or a trip someplace (various sports practice or what-not). Once our "free" time is over, one of the children assist in dinner preparation (one on one, while the other two can watch, or play). The dinner is eaten as a family, as is desert, and by the time we finish its bath time, story time and bedtime! Once the children are in bed, its more laundry, more cleaning, (possibly a quick run) and then I can finally sit down and... you got it, work. I usually stop working when the baby wake to eat, then put him back to sleep and close up shop - just -to-do-it again- tomorrow....
I am not trying to toot my own horn, I'm just saying anything is possible.
It will always be a constant battle of work and life. And balance. And I always come last.
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