I CAN do it all.... (part 1)

Come on over and sit down. 

Have a cocktail and quit your whining! 

I’m about to reveal to you the formula for how to be a successful working woman, a nurturing mother, a healthy, fit and fulfilled woman and an adoring and adored wife all at the same time, and I’m not charging you a dime (unless you want me too).

It is so easy you will laugh and laugh and then your laughter will mysteriously turn to tears once you learn my secrets. Do you believe me? ...... {falls asleep} …What? Where am I? Oh excuse me, I really don’t know why I am so tired. I easily had over 4 hours of sleep last night. Must be the hour of Beach-Body I squeezed in before lunch.

Anyway, let's focus, because you too can have it all, all at once.

Ignore those pesky naysayers and mediocre little people who have no understanding of how truly easy it is.

So here goes...

In the past year, I’ve been asked many times how I manage to seemingly “do it all”, so it's time I tell you.... I don't.

Every time I get the question, I wish I could invite the woman to my home. You may think I do it all, shop at five stores and save $200 on my grocery bill every week, cook six-course gourmet meals from scratch every single night, spend 10 hours of quality time with each of my children who are also involved in all sorts of extra-curricular activities, volunteer in our community at least five hours every day, hand-sew our clothes, all the while keeping my hair-did and nails freshly manicured...

Frankly, I don’t do it all nor do I want to.

I’m sure I do more than some and less than others. I know that I will be, in some way or another, busy forever. With that said, there are times for productivity and times for rest. I will admit I do seem to excel in the "time for productivity" part, and lack in the "time for rest". 
Those of us who are visibly busy (I think, at times) give a false impression of togetherness that’s rather unfortunate and unattainable. 
You don’t see my hurricane of a bedroom, still unfinished from the addition we began 2 years ago. You don’t see the scary, scary things under my couch. You don’t see the crud under my keyboard or the light-bulb that’s been out for three weeks in the basement laundry room. You don’t see when my toenail polish is chipping and when you do see that I’m way overdue for a hair cut you haven't mentioned it. For this I thank you, for I know that WE know, we are ALL busy people, we prioritize. 

I don’t watch the television or read the articles in my favorite magazine, or add new books to my Nook as often as I should. I  don't venture underneath the basement stairs or wash out the garbage can before replacing the bag. I don't floss every day. I don't weed the garden more than once  a season and I don't rotate our clothes each season.  I don't get to go to the spa, manicurist or hair salon even when my husband insists or take an extra long shower in quiet. Heck, sometimes I don't even empty the expired stuff from the fridge, (I DO tell everyone NOT to eat it though).

I don’t have a gym membership or skip the sugary treat when I really want it. I do however climb a million steps and chase around at least three small children every day AND I also own a lot of Spanx.

I don't get my yearly physical and I don’t wash windows. I don’t feed the homeless, foster rescue animals, host benefits,  chair volunteer committees. Although I will fund-raise the crap out of anything I can.

I don’t RSVP yes as often as I RSVP maybe, but I never say yes and leave you hanging.

I do go to bed most nights listing off the things I didn't get done and should have. I do wake up every morning wanting to do better be better feel better than the day before.  I do want to make my parents proud, my children smart happy & healthy (& tired, mostly tired) and my husband want me by the end of every day. But seriously, I am just one person. I only have 24 hours in my day — just like you. And I don’t have limitless energy or creativity. I often get tired, cranky and irritated. I sometimes go to bed feeling guilty that I’m not spending enough time with my children or feeding them healthfully enough. There are days I want to quit and give up.

I used to wish I could be one of those moms who whipped up hand-smocked petticoats for my daughter's dolls on the fly and decorated three-tiered wedding cakes while in the middle of canning forty-two batches of pickles and building a soap-box car with my son. I wanted to learn to knit and crochet and tat and make candy and candles. I pictured myself restoring antique furniture, planting a massive garden and sewing all our bedding.

But the reality is that I’m just not skilled in those areas. Oh sure, I still try on occasion to improve my knitting or sewing skills, but I have learned to accept that I’ll likely never be really super awesome at most of those things... I manage.

Instead of beating myself up over what I can’t do, I have been trying to focus on those areas which I am gifted in. Once you’ve let go of perfectionism and determined your strengths, then it’s much easier to prioritize and streamline your life. 

There are certain moms who just make everything look easy. They’re the ones who always seem so pulled together, calm and organized, even as they’re running in a million different directions and taking on a multitude of responsibilities. We look at those women and often ask ourselves, “How does she do it?” Well, here’s a little secret: If you’re a mom who is reading this sentence, then you can bet that somewhere, at some time, someone has THAT about you. The problem with most of us moms is that we’re often quick to recognize the talents of others, while magnifying our own faults and limitations. 
It doesn't matter if you have one child or thirty-five (God help you), they WILL keep you busy. The reality is that every mom leads a hectic and busy life, but each has her own way of keeping it all under control. 

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!