Sending Them Back

I've already made up my mind.

My son would benefit from returning to the traditional classroom.While the past two years of homeschooling have caused his educational mind to flourish - gaining infinite amounts of knowledge into his seven year old brain, other aspects of him have suffered. He has fewer friends, less self control and a weakened mother-son relationship. It is common for the teacher/mother lines to be confused when homeschooling, but I am not willing to let that suffer the pangs of any more time.

I wouldn't classify our homeschooling as a short-term venture, as although he was only home-schooled full-time for two years, he has been homeschooled for five, and I assume, our lessons will not cease when he enters the doors of his new classroom. I have created an adventurous child, inquisitive in nature and always seeking more information. I am not certain one building can contain him.

No matter what the circumstances, sending a child back to a school after homeschooling can produce pangs of guilt. I may have made up my mind, but I question myself daily (as I did when I withdrew him from school).

As a homeschooling Mom wanting to pursue a my career full time, I feel incredibly selfish.

Parenthood is filled with regrets, often constant and daily. For me, I must  remind myself, the vast majority of decisions i make are for the best interest of each of my children based on the circumstances at hand. Every child has different needs, every schooling option has different strengths and weaknesses, and there is no single, right solution for everyone.

So why did I throw in the home-school towel so soon?

1) Our local schools are pretty good. I home-schooled Jonathan for the first and second grade because he was not being challenged during his kindergarten elementary school routine, but after that the advanced placement program was re-introduced into the local schools and I hope it will would energize him.
If his new school had been overcrowded or dangerous or not had advanced placement, I would not have let him go. But the student-teacher ratio was sixteen to one, and I knew many of the teachers personally. We entered upon homeschooling with the goal of having a few good years that might give him an academic and emotional boost before returning. We were not sure when the return would be, but were certain it would be before middle school.

2) I need time for my career. I found homeschooling to be an absorbing job that took most of my energy, (when that is coupled with the several part-time jobs I had taken on to help make ends meet, I'm exhausted) and I wanted to do more teaching and have more time for my writing.

3) Homeschooling brought out the worst in me, as well as the best. I'm honest about this-- I've read many homeschooling books that only talk about the benefits, but I admit openly that some of our homeschooling days were sometimes filled with stormy battles. Although the good times far outweighed the bad, I still feel embarrassed when I recall the tantrums thrown during homeschooling. Battles are a regular part of family life, but in homeschooling, the daily contact between parent and child, combined with the pressures of academic tasks, can be stressful.

4) Jonathan is instinctively an extroverted, lone wolf, which can be a strength, but he needs to work on social skills more than academic skills. Despite our group activities with other home-schoolers during the day, and all of Jonathan 's after-school activities, (home-schoolers get lots of socialization!) I knew that too much time at home with Mom would increase Jonathan's inwardness. In school, he could benefit from performing in the plays, playing on the field, and constantly observing lots of human beings from a variety of backgrounds.

5) I'm not prepared to teach Latin, advanced algebra, and the other specialized subjects that emerge in middle school, and I didn't want to hire tutors. I have already taught Jonathan to read and write comfortably and the conversations and in-depth explorations that homeschooling could allow.