Sleep Training withOUT tears

I miss sleep. a lot. I don't mind the occasional wakings from a bad dream. Even the child up before the sun, I wouldn't mind... but both... simultaneously... and daily. I AM TIRED. I am tired of waiting to finish the cleaning and laundry and chores and work until all three of my little angels are sleep, just to be stopped before I finish to feed and rock a baby back to sleep, finally let to finish only to be awaken twenty (give or take) after I finally lie down and close my eyes and then every hour for the remainder of the night until the blasted sun wakes another child....UGH. That's IT! I am ready to read Samuel Jackson's rendition of "Go the F@#$ to Sleep".

When I read about the Cry it Out method, all I can think of is an overtired mom sitting cross-legged in the corner covering her ears and eyes with her hands, sobbing just praying for everyone to go to sleep. 
In my house its not the going to sleep thats a problem, that part is a breeze. its the staying asleep that we struggle with. There is always an initial complaint, but usually by days end, all parties are tired enough to resign to their bedrooms without excessive disagreement. The little guy puts up the hardest fight, he just wants his mommy to hold him just a little bit longer...

Teaching your baby to soothe himself to sleep and sleep through the night doesn't have to mean letting him cry it out (CIO). If you don't like the idea of leaving your baby to cry alone – or you've tried CIO methods and they didn't work for you – you may want to consider a more gradual approach that involves fewer tears. I cannot bring myself to letting a little one cry for longer than 3-4 minutes without beginning to sob myself.

On baby #3, I am still reminding myself that each child is different and what works for one child might not work for another. Figuring out an approach that's right for your family could take some trial and error.

Generally speaking, those who favor a no-tears approach over CIO methods consider leaving a child alone and crying to be unnatural, unkind, and a betrayal of the trust your baby is developing in adults and the world around him. In my opinion, its obvious that child and parent develop a bound well before birth and the complete trust a child has for his/her parent is a sacred bond. Bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cozy nighttime rituals and by quickly responding to your baby's requests for food and comfort.

Pediatrician and attachment parenting advocate William Sears devotes an entire chapter of The Baby Sleep Book to a critique of CIO approaches. Another no-tears advocate, Elizabeth Pantley (author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution), believes that CIO techniques can give your child negative associations with bedtime. Sleep experts who support the CIO approach disagree, stating it isn't traumatic for babies to cry alone for short periods of time with frequent check-ins by Mom or Dad – and the end result is a well-rested, happier child with no excessive need for dependency on comfort bedtime.

Practical tips for finding a no-tears solution

• Parents are urged to keep sleep logs, nap logs, and night-waking logs. 
• Encourage your baby to get plenty to eat during the day. He'll learn that daytime is for eating and nights are for sleeping. And he'll be less likely to wake up hungry in the wee hours.
• Establish a regular nap schedule. A consistent sleep routine during the daytime helps regulate nighttime sleep.
• Put your baby to bed on the early side, such as 6:30 or 7. Don't fall into the trap of keeping your baby awake so he'll be more tired. An overtired baby may actually have a harder time getting to sleep. Some experts say babies who go to bed earlier sleep longer, too.
• Make changes slowly. If your baby's on a later schedule, don't suddenly move bedtime from, say, 9:30 to 7 o'clock. Make bedtime a little earlier each night until you reach the time that seems best for your baby.
• Find a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it. I like our routine of a bath, then a book, then a lullaby, then bed, at the same time every night.
• Develop some key words, to signal to your child that it's time for sleep. It could be a simple "ssshhhh" sound or a softly spoken phrase like "It's sleepy time." Repeat the sound or phrase when you're soothing your child to sleep or back to sleep so he'll associate it with bedtime. I use a different phrase for nap than I do for bedtime, "Time to snooze" and "Little one, rest your head, it's time for bed"
• Create a comfortable sleep environment that's tailored to your child. Some babies need more quiet and darkness than others. Recordings of soft music or nature sounds or the sound of a gurgling aquarium can be soothing. Make sure the sheets are cozy (warm them with a hot water bottle or a microwavable heating pad before laying your baby down) and that sleepwear doesn't chafe or bind. Younger babies may sleep better when swaddled. Don't overdress your child or overheat the room. Of course this comfortable sleeping environment varies from child to child.My 1st liked a night-light and soft music, my 2nd silence and darkness, my 3rd static sounds and muted to no lights. 
• Don't respond to every noise your child makes. Learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper. If you're not sure, it's okay to wait for a minute outside the door so you won't disturb him if he's actually asleep.

Many question which methods works best....Truth be told, no single sleep strategy is effective with every baby or even for one baby all the time.